I'm a skatesophrenic

I think I might have a rollerskate fetish. I don't know what it is, but I love to imagine myself gliding and twirling on a pair of old school rollerskates! It's been years... decades that I've been thinking about it, and yet, just the thought of going outside and ridicule myself with my clumsy moves and my butt sticking out, just petrifies me!

The soft, shy, inhibited side of me thinks "I'll never be able to do it! I'll always be too scared for this, and I'll probably break a bone, and anyway, what's the point? I'm way too old for taking on rollerskating!"

And yet, the fighter, the winner, the competitive b**ch in me, wants to say "f*** you" to the other, and will never live in peace without proving to herself that she can do it, that she can live on rollerskates, just like Rollergirl in Boogie Nights!

That's why I'm a skatesophrenic.

This is not just about skating. This is about living my life like I really want to, and not wait a minute longer! I'm so sick and tired of diminishing myself and in the end, being too afraid in succeding in anything, despite all the talents and support that G-d has given me, and all my dreams! 

Will I be able to overcome my huge range of fears? Love my body? Be a strong woman? Find love? Succeed in my profession? Simply love my life?

Learning to skate like a pro would be for me a symbol of success in overcoming my fears and proof that if I can do this, I can do anything!

I'm starting this blog as a testimony of my progress in taking up this challenge!