Whip It Syndrome

A couple of years ago, over a decade after the last time my feet had rolled on asphalt, I saw the movie "Whip It". Apparently, the film has caused a pretty interesting phenomenon, a sudden new interest for roller derby.

I had never heard of roller derby before, but after watching the film, not only my skating fantasies came back into the limelight, but I started to get interested in roller derby. I liked the inclusive philosophy, the girly names and outfits, the friendly violence, the cool attitude, and of course, the roller skating! Another fit of skatesophrenia and suddenly I had to roller skate! I just had to!

Being the impulsive person that I am, I went online and bought a nice pair of skates! Not derby skates, but a nice pair of classic quad skates with a nice ice-skater-like boot. I did a bit of research, but, unfortunately, not only the city I was living in didn't have a roller derby league, but it didn't even have a skating rink, or rollerskating lessons. I've now had the skates for about 5 years, and the only skating rink they have rolled on is my living room floor, just like when I was 9 years old, with the Barbie skates.

After a couple of years and the "Whip It" phenomenon, it turned out that a derby team was starting in my city! I got in contact with the girls, but I completely chickened out, and never went to any of their meetings. A classic pattern in my life, in which there is something I really want, in the attainable fantasy box of my brain, and when I'm getting close to getting/achieving it, the killjoy part of me annihilates the fantasy, the hope, the will, reasons me and I give up.

A few days ago (2 years later) my fantasizing self started calling again! I don't remember what triggered the call, but it made me pull out those skates, put them on, and skate in my corridor, and G-d I got excited!

But now what? None of my friends want to skate, my city is full of boring rollerbladers, no quad skaters, and I probably have to got out on my own and ridicule myself! The ONLY way I can imagine is going at either 6am in the morning, or in the middle of the night, all geared up with knee pads and wrist guards!

That's when the real challenge enters. How much do I really want this? What am I ready to do to achieve my dreams? To become a skater? To have a body that I love? To get married? To make a living from my art? To start living my life now? At age 30+?

Me and my courage. And my skatesophrenia.